Sunday, January 18, 2009

I am just a girl in a lonely world, waking up to find that I have woken up too late. Too late to take that drive. Too late to change the past. Too late to make them see me for who I really am. Too late to prove my love. Too late to prove my worth. Too late for Cat Heaven... drive, Captain, drive...

I am just a girl living as I can - moment to moment - holding on for dear life. Never knowing which way the wind will blow me. Never knowing where the tide will carry me. Forgive me my insolence and stupidity. I mean not half of what I say. I was born without that internal mechanism, the one that allows you to reason with yourself before you speak, before you jump... Before you destroy entire lives, entire worlds - yours, mine - with just one word, one action, one thoughtless gesture which meant nothing to me, but everything to you.

I am just a girl searching desperately for a way to turn back time (or perhaps erase it). A way to undo the horrors of the past and step out of the shadows of the emptiness I have created. A way to let go of the life I have lost. The love I can't shake. The dreams that won't die.

I am just a girl... nothing more... nothing less... longing to simply be free.

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