And when you said the word forever it hung there in the room like the smell of rotting fish in that damn market in Seattle. The one she took me to, years before you, years before y'all. Years before us. I play out this little drama time & time again, over & over, changing this word & that... this look... that touch... he said, she said... you fucked, I sucked.... the life outta you... or so you say.

And I open my mouth but the words are stuck & all that comes out is this foreign howl like some kinda beast trapped deep down inside. Some kinda beast fighting to be freed. And everything I want to say & everything I want to do is buried by emotions & silenced by the howls.... & the whimpers... & the growls.

I fell apart, but you ran away. I screamed & fought... shouted like a spoiled child... or was it a wounded beast, I don't remember anymore. You fled the scene... like a frightened little bitch. Backbone deserted you? Or was it ever there? I don't remember anymore.